I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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