dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Someone shattered a urinal.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
