i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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