I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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