Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
