i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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