Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
