We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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