Pappa wants mamma naked
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im six kinds of drunk right now
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
