Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
