i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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