We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All I want is dick and wine.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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