He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
