Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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