i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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