I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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