Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
