we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
