With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
