take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it was like eating out sand paper
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
