dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
