I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
