yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
