I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
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