If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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