New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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