I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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