why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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