A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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