Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
