it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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