im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
