Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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