the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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