look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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