My friends, they love my intelligence
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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