dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize