i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
