Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So many bounce houses so little time
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
