Non-Jews are for practice
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
