You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
