I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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