how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just cropdusted the office
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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