I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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