Im at strip club and am horny
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize