After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
too bad you live with your parents still
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
