she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
