I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
