I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
