We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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