I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
