we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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