We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
