I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
