naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i now understand why vodka
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
