Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
there is puke in my bra ... again
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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