Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
