every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
