If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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