i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
