I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
