dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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